Friday, March 19, 2010

Top 6 Reasons People Aren’t Having More Sex

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By Juice at

Waiting until all the conditions are right to have sex is counter productive.  It’s like waiting to go to the dentist until  your tooth stops hurting.

If you visit the dentist before there is a problem, chances are there won’t be a problem to start with.  If you wait to go until you have a toothache, you might need to have a cavity filled.  If you wait until after your tooth stops hurting, you may need some serious help to save the tooth – if it can be saved at all.

Wow.  I never thought I’d compare sex to going to the dentist.  The point is to stop waiting until that perfect moment to have sex.   Sex improves your physical, mental and emotional health on many different levels.  It decreases risks of cancer and heart disease, especially in men.  Besides that, it feels good and can be some of the most fun you could ever have.  Read the Health Benefits of Sex and you’ll be amazed at what a healthy sex life can do for you!

Top 6 Reasons People Aren’t Having More Sex

No Partner
Do it solo until you do find a partner.  Masturbation is a healthy outlet and while it doesn’t carry all the benefits of sex with a partner, it still has some potent benefits that you wouldn’t get any other way.

No Time
Make time.  People make time for what’s important to them.  Make having sex something that’s important to you and stop using the excuse that you are a victim of your schedule.

Too Tired
Many of us are over-scheduled to the point that we are sleep deprived.  This is a scheduling error.  Re-prioritize your time so that you have more time to rest.  Take turns with the kids in the evening so that you can both take a 20 minute nap after work.  Or, have sex earlier in the day when you still have some energy.
Get creative and do what you need to do in order to feel more rested.  Not just for sex, but for your health and happiness as well.   Stop playing the victim in your own life, you do have choices.  Choosing to pursue a better balance in your life to have energy for something as important as sex is something you can do if you really try.

Not in the Mood
The funny thing about sex is that if you start doing it when you aren’t in the mood, you’ll find that somewhere in the midst of it, you’ll become in the mood.  Plus, “Sexy is as sexy does.”  If you are having more sex you’ll naturally begin to feel more “in the mood”.  Get sex toys, sexy lingerie, watch sexy movies, whatever you need to help feel sexier and get yourself in the mood.  If it can help create a stronger bond between you and your partner, it’s worth it’s weight in gold.

For the single people, it can help you find a partner as you become more attractive when you are in tune with your own sexual nature.  Really.  I had a friend that would masturbate before hitting the clubs and was like a total babe magnet, on nights that didn’t happen, no one paid attention.  Try it for yourself!

Body Image Issues
You’d be surprised how many people aren’t having sex because they don’t feel good about their bodies.  Maybe you are one of them.  Start using sex as a way to get back into shape.  Your partner will be happier, you’ll be happier and having sex is a most excellent way to get into shape.  Oh – and your partner all ready knows what you look like, so stop trying to hide from them.   Chances are high that they will love being your sex workout coach!

Not Happy with My Partner
Whether you are not happy with your partner in the bedroom, or out of it, this is the biggest reason many people aren’t having more sex.  Define what it is that you are not happy with your partner about and get it resolved.  If you aren’t having more sex with your partner because you are not happy with how you and your partner “Do it”, then show and tell them exactly what you need for them to feel sexually satisfied.  Communication is the key and chances are your partner will be willing to help you if you are open about your needs.

If it’s because of issues outside of the bedroom, address those too and make sure you aren’t with holding sex from your partner as a way of punishing them.  Seek outside help if you need to.  Start having sex while you work through the issues.  A huge number of the couples I work with noticed that the problems outside of the bedroom were easier to work through, or went away on their own, as they proceeded to put their sexual relationship as a top priority.

Don’t let prejudice, shyness, or ignorance keep you from experimenting sensually with your partner.  Look at it as a relationship saving, possibly even life saving event, that the more you do, the better benefits you get personally and as a couple from it.  Get started on a more sexual lifestyle today.

NOTE: For more information about boosting your sex life, contact Romance Specialist Kelly Council or visit our website at


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  1. Interesting list of "motivations"... wish that it could help me in my situation... but my wife is just asexual. I've been five and a half years in forced celibacy.


  2. These are right on. Also,getting into a same old thing rut is a big one. Very insightful.